Dogs are nappers, not sleepers. They are also unemployed. We give them free food and free housing. Good dogs are pampered, while noble dogs, little dogs, and all the other dogs are catered. Dogs sleep so much because humans are domesticated. The first wolf found the first human and cashed in on his biped. A few hundred thousand years later and we’re all standing in the dog food aisle worried about grain or grain-free and if our dog will like the taste of sustainably caught salmon more than grass-fed buffalo.

A few facts about your dog’s sleeping.

• Why Do Dogs Sleep So Much? Because they can.

• Why do dogs sleep on their backs? Because they can.

• Why do dogs sleep in a ball? Because they can and we set the air conditioning too low.
• Why do dogs sleep at our feet? Because they can and we wander off without telling them where we are going and when we will be back.
• Why do dogs sleep with their butt smashed against our spine? Because they can and we wander off in the night.
• Why do dogs snorfle their blankets? Because they can and every morning, we fold them neatly and screw up the bed.

• Why do dogs bring their toys to sleep with? Because they can and why are you asking? You bought it. What? Do you want your dog to ignore your gift? Calm down, you are so needy. The stuffed gorilla is appreciated. Also, quit moving it and folding the blankets.
• Do dogs sleep more than humans? They sleep better than humans, that’s for sure.

But you’re here for formal information, aren’t you? Here’s some science words. Humans are diurnal with circadian rhythms. Dogs are neither nocturnal nor diurnal. They do what they want because they are unemployed, pandered, and catered. Like trust fund babies. But cute.