Muscovy duck flock foraging under a tree.

Barbarians and Girl Scout Cookies at the Gates

Barbarians and Girl Scout Cookies at the Gates

A hungry flock become barbarians at the gate.

In the morning and in the evening our property falls under siege. Barbarians are at both gates. In the spring, gull join in the surge. Floating, diving, dipping, and kvetching as only gulls do. They won't land, they wait for me to toss meals into the air.

Surrounded by gull in the air, ibis, and ducks on the ground. I frantically pitch meals in all directions. Chaos follows the pitches with open mouths fighting for the catch. Madness. Mayhem. Marvelous! The back gate without trees blocking air traffic can attain a level of feeding frenzy only seen during shark week.

The front gate, with three large trees blocking all air traffic from clear landings lends to sure footed barbarian duck attacks only. It's mayhem. It's controlled chaos. There is a smidge of decorum except for the two male Muscovy ducks locked in gender battle. Which sounds like a pillow fight.

My chaos makes sense though. Good clean fun. Nothing dark or sinister. Nothing winking toward the underground workings of delicious addictions. Nothing like my neighbor and her Girl Scout Cookie transfers.

Moms in minivans line up in front of her seemingly normal house. My neighbor stands at the open trunk of her sedan. The rear bumper hangs low for the weight of the contents. The Nissan's shock absorbers absorbing what they can. She stands with papers in hand. A roll call list to make the mayhem look orderly.

Trunk and back gates swing open as an army of street hawkers make ready to take the contraband throughout the neighborhoods. Dark magic. All of it. Delicious dark magic. As I feed the front gate marauding ducks, I witness efficiency slip stream, so devious and effective. Moms laugh and giggle as they carry boxes from one trunk to their own. The leader checking off names as boxes leave her sedan, reducing the load on the shocks that breathe a sigh of relief. The muffler no longer touches the pavement.

Girl Scout Cookies, the legal buzz.

Girl Scout Cookies. Addictive. Delicious. McDonald's used kids to create generations of Mikkie-D addicts. I tip my yellow duck food bowl to an organization that not only brought kids, but the cutest girls with the biggest smiles AND their mothers into the black market of a sugar buzz, delivered via colorful boxes covered in happy cute faces. Faces showing girls smiling as they become the women who will drive the vans that carry the new cute little girls to deliver the next generation of sugar buzzes. Thin Mints. You dark, minty little gateway. Unassuming chocolate covered mind control. You shall pass these gates.

Shockingly, the barbarian ducks make no note to any of it.  

Kathy LaFollett is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to

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