Romance vs the Reality of Parrots
Humans romanticize ideas. Our expectations get hardwired through a bit of fantasizing and thought investments. It's one thing to romanticize an idea that has a simple reality. But Companion Parrots do not have a simple reality.
The romance of a companion parrot vs the reality is organic and ever changing. Companion Parrots are a moving target of understanding and learning. Their list of needs is simple. You can make that as complex as you want. The reality is a companion parrot changes their opinions, their motives, and their minds as quickly as a 4-year-old. You are never done understanding your parrot. It will not become some automated process inside your life. A companion will look you straight in the eye one morning and change every rule you thought you agreed on over the last year. And laugh at you while doing it.
When they change their opinions, our first reaction is the "something's wrong" response. Something is wrong because it's different now. They don't like me anymore, they won't eat what they did, he lunges, he won't play with a toy like he did, he changed! The romance of having a best friend companion parrot that sits on your shoulder and shares your foods disappears, and you are left with a personality that decided your romantic idea wasn't theirs.
Which breaks the human expectations.
Drop the romance. Drop the idea of perfect parrot behavior or even acquiring such a thing. The healthiest approach for you and your companion is simply acknowledging your reality as it stands. So, your bird won't eat certain vegetables. So, your bird prefers your shoulder to your forearm. Are you both happy and comfortable with that communication? Bravo! Enjoy that between you. There is no one absolute truth in behavior communication in all flocks or all parrots. We are all individuals with individual truths. Don't romanticize what you may see in others parrot videos, photos, or stories. You can't know the whole truth and history behind them. And it wouldn't matter anyway. It's their truth, not yours.
Know your truth, support your flock truth with love, empathy, confidence and joy. You cannot fail when love, empathy, confidence, and joy are part of your truth.
And don't let anyone tell you differently.